Grief does not only apply when we have lost a loved one. Grief does not discriminate that way – its not nearly that picky. Grief occurs when we lose hopes and dreams. When we lose large life changing expectations. When we lose jobs. When we lose relationships – romantic or friendships. When we lose weight (you laugh – but ask anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight if they grieved that loss. They did.). When we lose part of ourselves and have to recover it somehow. All of these are times of grief.
Grief is mean spirited. It creeps up on you when are not looking and sits on your chest like an elephant – laughing.
When people grieve, the landscape of their relationships change. Some people fall away naturally because they don’t know what to say – so they stop talking altogether. When they are not talking, the relationship fades. Sometimes new relationships are formed out of a bond that only those that are hurting can form. Some relationships remain but they are forever changed because the one who is hurting is forever changed.
Right after Beth died, I told David I wanted a divorce. I didn’t wanna go through what Matt was going through and I didn’t want him to either. He was disinclined to acquiesce to my request.