Some things require more effort than they are worth. If you find yourself trying real hard, you probably don’t really need it after all. This is not something that applies to everything. But I think it applies to some relationships.
We have all experienced it. The desire to have a relationship with someone or a group or community of peeps that you just can’t seem to get in. You can’t even explain why you want it – maybe because you see commonalities that they don’t, maybe because you used to have it, or maybe because there has always been an element of distance that you didn’t create and you want to see it diminished. No matter the reason, it can be enough to drive you mad.
I have often heard – go where you are celebrated. That saying has always made me roll my eyes. No one is celebrating me (except maybe on Oct 7)! But I think the concept is true enough. Why stay in a place where you are just tolerated? Where you feel like you are not really ever good enough? Where you are the one who is always making contact? And following up? Why stay there?
Back in the day, I had low self esteem, but throughout the years I have learned my worth. I have learned that you can love unconditionally and still choose not to be in harms way. I have learned that people often have no idea what the true ripple effect is when they treat people poorly or neglectfully. I have learned that when you love someone – you should tell them – in whatever way you know how. Verbally. Acts of Service. Gifts. Smiling. Whatever that looks like for you – you should do that. And when you do that, when you show them that you love them, they will either accept it or reject it.
There are people out there that cannot accept it. They cannot accept your unconditional love. It does not compute to them. And that’s ok. It shouldn’t stop you from loving them that way, but it will likely change your relationship. It’s very possible that where you are going, they are not meant to travel. At least not with you.
You ARE celebrated elsewhere. YOU make a difference in lives elsewhere. The person/group/community that doesn’t accept you – they don’t need you. And that’s ok. Whether you recognize it or not, you don’t need them either. You may have things in common, just not your destination. And just because you wish someone was in your life, doesn’t mean they should be. And that distance is there for a reason. Let it be. It’s time to move forward.
You have places to go.